#14. White Noise

#14. White Noise

You’re talking.

I can see your lips move,

your hands making arcs in the air

your eyebrows scrunched up in worry.

But I don’t hear you.

All I hear is the repeated words,

as if on an infinite loop,

you failed you failed you failed.

Parvathi and I are attempting Rebirth in April in July. Her responsive poem to this prompt is amazing. Go, click the link here!

#13. Games in which we relearn everything

#13. Games in which we relearn everything

“Twenty Questions.”

That’s the first thing you say when we met after 6 years.

We were best friends then.

In my mind, we always were.

When you asked the first question,

I knew, that we

will always be best friends,

but new people to each other.

This is how I feel when I meet my school friends after months.

Parvathi and I are attempting Rebirth in April in July, prompts created by JR Rogue and Kat Savage.

 

#12. Relearning happiness

#12. Relearning happiness

It is 4:32 AM.

I am not asleep.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be.

All the events since the last month have eaten bits and pieces

of me, slowly.

I get up to make myself some tea.

I pad around my apartment,

seeing but not noticing.

Hearing all the early morning noises

but not really listening.

I turn the radio on for company,

but all the chanting and the mantras makes me feel sick.

All

Over

Again.

I have no clue what this this about, but I had other things in mind. But I am typing this at 6:50 AM, so yay me!

#10. Counting backwards from 10

#10. Counting backwards from 10

Deep breaths.

Inhale. Mouth closed.

Exhale. Mouth open. 

I count the number of random strangers around me

who were having a peaceful time without knowing me

or my anger management issues.

A hand, firm and strong, comes up on my shoulder.

I try smiling at him,

my father, supporter of everything I do,

there’s no reason for me to be angry at him.

But I know the smile comes off as grim,

as I see myself in him,

In his eyes, as reflection.

In the smiles we share.

In the hard, determined set of jaw

and the same pink ears.

His hand is all I need

Instead of a bucket of ice cold water.

I’m attempting the set of prompts, Rebirth in April, together with Parvathi. Check out her poems!

#7. Accidental Birthdays

It was a long day,

longer than the Equinox,

longer than the Solstice, even.

My eyelids were heavy and half-closed

when I made back to my apartment that night.

Shoving my bag aside and switching on the lights,

people jump up and scream,

“Happy Birthday!”

Huh?

I am confused, only momentarily,

because then you come bouncing towards me

with a huge, face-splitting smile,

so genuine and warm

and even your slight frame knocks me back a little,

when you hug me with so much love.

“Happy birthday!” You say.

I smile back at her,

as she leads me towards the cake.

It was the best birthday ever,

even if it was a few months early.

Parvathi and are doing Rebirth In April in June. Yes. No, we’re not confused. Check out her poetry! They’re amazing!

#6. When the bottom falls out

At this point in life,

I thought I’d reached the bottom.

And I was so excited that

for the first time in my life,

there was no other way to go down,

except up.

Where i could see the winking light

of red dwarfs and white giants

and the occasional blue twinkling.

But then the bottom gave out

and I fell so deep that

I couldn’t see the Sun anymore.

Somewhat how I’m feeling these days.

Parvathi and I are attempting Rebirth In April! Check out her poems!

Hopefully I will have a header by the end of the day.

#5. Sunday Coffee and Second Chances

It is 6 AM on a Sunday morning.

My eyes shot open and look at the clock.

Trying to go back to sleep is a lost cause.

I get up and rub my eyes with my fists,

giving myself bags, and pick up the book next to me

on my night stand.

I’d given up on it, last night,

but it was so beautiful.

Memories are a bane,

but I banish those thoughts aside

and heave myself off the bed,

to get myself some coffee

on an unnaturally bright and early

Sunday morning.