#Octoberfalls 11. Aquiver

#Octoberfalls 11. Aquiver

the wind blows rippling

the silent water of the

lake and I can breathe.

 

You are not here, but

I feel you around me. you

are the soft grass, the

clouds that bring shade, the tree that protects

protects, the water that lives

 

the sun that shines just

like your eyes when they looked at

me. With full of love.

A mix of Haiku and Tanka. I had to come back to writing love poems because I couldn’t think of anything else. I also bought some fab pens which I totally love. I’m quite happy with the art work, but I know it can get better. One day soon.

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#Octoberfalls 10. Held together by strings

#Octoberfalls 10. Held together by strings

“Hey! Be yourself!

You deserve to be happy!

But, can I make a small suggestion?

You know who you were,

the other day?

Please be that ‘you’!”

I am sick.

I am tired.

Who are these people,

telling me who to be and who not to be,

when they’ve only seen a sliver

of who I really am?

They want me to be the real me?

They want me to be true to myself?

Well, I hope they’re prepared to run because

they have helped me unleash the beast

within me.

I hate this society. I hate that the people that I really care about fall into this category. I hate that there is so little open-mindedness. I hate it, but I swallow it all up because if the majority of the people around you are like that, what can I do?

I suppose there are changes that I would love to make in this drawing, but I’m really happy with it.

 

#Octoberfalls 9. Cynefin

#Octoberfalls 9. Cynefin

Fresh filter coffee, first thing early in the day.

Push the curtains for the early light to stream in.

Push a random CD in; press play.

Stare at my fish tank, marvel at that tiny fin.

Pick up a book from the shelf

like I have nowhere to be

because I see myself in

my home; see?

Just another reason why we need

to buy a new book, indeed

today, tomorrow, every day.

Let’s head to the bookstore,

shall we? Yay!

I tried to rhyme. Really. I did.

And I’m actually quite please with my drawing. I wish I’d have made the grills a little (lot) thinner, and then planned it a bit more. Maybe I will do it again another day.

#OctoberFalls 8. Rainbows and Gemstones

#OctoberFalls 8. Rainbows and Gemstones

You hold up the crystal to the sunlight

but you see no rainbows.

You pout.

“Why can’t I see rainbows?” You ask grandpa.

He laughs lightly, taking the stone from my hand.

“This is pure crystal, unpolished.

You can’t see the light because

there is unwanted dirt and soil on it.

If you clean it,

polish it with hard substances,

you can see it!

Like your mamma’s diamond earrings!”

“I understand!” You say.

I wonder if one day, you will understand

what Pappa was trying to say.

Hardships will hurt you, baby,

but I’m sure, they will make you

into the shiniest human being

ever walked on the planet.

A little father-daughter sentiment, I suppose.

I painted my very first crystal! Not perfect, but practice is definitely required, but I’m quite happy with it. I enjoyed the experience!

 

#Octoberfalls 7. Knife’s edge

#Octoberfalls 7. Knife’s edge

chop. chop. chop. 

I am chopping up the vegetables for dinner tonight.

An elaborate dinner at my house, at my dining table which seats only four but there are 7 people coming for dinner and my mother will not stop pointing out why I have such a small table in such a small house when I have such a huge family. Or, when I could one day have such a huge family.

An extravagant dinner at my 2 BHK rented house with nosey aunties and helpful uncles, situated at the centre of the city where everything is in walking distance. And I can go everywhere in house clothes. No bra needed. Just with a huge sweater and a shawl and I am one of the homeless and unrecognizable and happy and serene.

I need to be my exuberant self, wearing a saree and being a “proper” lady or otherwise, the boy coming to this “dinner party” will think wrongly of me and, he will not marry me and what do I do then?!Who will marry me?!

chop. 

I don’t want to be exuberant.

chop. 

I don’t want to smile all night, filling everyone’s glasses with that horrible soda and make small talk with my siblings who don’t care to see me, as long as I send them money.

chop. 

I don’t want to be pleasant. I don’t want to chit-chat with a dumb-looking stranger whom my mother and father want me to get married to.

chop. 

I don’t want to “be” home when my husband comes in so I can take off his shoes and socks and remove his tie and take his bag and make him coffee and get shouted at because he had a bad day at work. I don’t want to be that woman who worships her husband just because he agreed to marry her. I will not be that woman who will offer her body to her “husband” because he felt like it.

chop. 

I don’t want this.

chop. 

I wanted a loving family. Small is beautiful.

chop. 

Instead, I got this.

chop. 

I was thinking of all the ways a girl in India is chained by social constructs, and how suffocating it is for us to not be able to live the way we want. It makes me angry and sad at the same time. Hence the poem.

This angry poem is dedicated to all free thinking women out there. Who don’t let the society define them or their clothes or their behaviour or their habits.

#Octoberfalls 6. Minstrel of the tide

#Octoberfalls 6. Minstrel of the tide

There is no one that reassures me better

than the crashing waves on the rocks.

I wish I didn’t have to learn

and believe

from experience.

But I did.

So, I am thankful,

for the rocks that never waver when the tides

come crashing in.

For the waves, that never stop trying.

For the Sun, that tells me there’s always

another day, another chance.

Another beginning.

For the Moon, for there’s always

beauty in being the light in the darkness.

I am reminded of this everyday.

Even when I am away,

the salt on my lips

the wind in my hair

never lets me forget.

Well, I wanted to write a sappy love story poem, but I changed the route to self discovery! I wish I was living near the sea. I love Bangalore, but I wish the sea weren’t 6 hours away from me.

 

 

#Octoberfalls 5. Delicate Fragility

#Octoberfalls 5. Delicate Fragility

They say that if you see yourself in

a cracked mirror, you get

seven years of bad luck.

I handle mirrors very, very

carefully.

In handling mirrors, I forget to

take good care of my

soul and heart

and don’t care if it gets

broken.

Over and over

again.

I’m really glad of how my sketch came out to be. I initially planned to draw a spiderweb, but then, I went in deeper. This is my favourite sketch so far.